The Work Between Pitching Lessons: How Parents Can Help

What if one of the most important things missing from your daughter's softball schedule isn't another lesson or team practice, but time to work on what she's already learning?

Think about that for a minute.

A pitching lesson on Monday. Team practice Tuesday and Thursday. Tournaments on the weekend.

It's a schedule full of opportunities to learn.

But somewhere in all of that, when does she have time to take what she's learning and figure it out for herself?

To go outside and fiddle with a pitch. To try something different. To struggle with it, make an adjustment, and finally feel it click.

Because that's a part of development I don't think we talk about nearly enough.

And I think it's worth asking whether we're sometimes scheduling so many opportunities for kids to learn that we're leaving them too little time to actually practice what they're being taught.

I'm not suggesting we eliminate lessons or team practices. Those are important parts of development.

But I do think we need to be intentional about leaving room for independent work.

And here's the good news. That doesn't have to mean adding hours of practice to an already busy week.

Sometimes it's about having a better plan for the time you DO have.

A Lesson Can Give Direction. But She Still Has to Do the Work.

I've been coaching pitchers for more than 20 years, and one thing I've learned is that what happens between lessons matters more to a pitcher's success in the circle than what happens during the lessons themselves.

I can teach a pitcher how to create better spin, help her understand what her body is doing, and show her how to make adjustments.

But I can't develop that muscle memory for her. That comes from putting in the reps, learning what those adjustments feel like, and practicing them until they become more natural.

She has to take those things home and work on them. Not just repeat a drill because her coach told her to, but begin to understand what she's doing and why.

And sometimes that means struggling a little.

Maybe she's working with her spinner and getting great spin from 10 feet away. But when she moves back to 15 feet, she loses it. So she moves in to 12 feet and tries again. Still not quite right? Maybe she goes back to 10 feet, finds that spin again, and gradually works her way back.

Or maybe she can get correct spin without her arm circle, but as soon as she adds the full arm circle, she loses the feel of her hand position at release, and her spin changes. So she goes back and forth. One without the arm circle. One with it. Trying to recognize what feels different and what she needs to adjust.

Those are the reps that matter.

Not just throwing pitch after pitch, but learning to recognize what correct spin feels like, what changes when she loses it, and how to find it again.

And those are the reps we can't just breeze through. They take time, patience, and a willingness to work through something that isn't coming easily.

That's the kind of learning I want my pitchers to experience.

Not every pitch needs to be corrected by a coach. Sometimes the best thing we can do is give kids a little room to figure things out for themselves.

They need time to do that.

And they need to know what they're working toward.

Parents Can Provide Structure Without Becoming the Pitching Coach

Here's where I think parents can make a tremendous difference.

You don't have to be a pitching expert. You don't have to be present for every lesson or at-home practice, and you certainly don't have to offer advice or corrections every time your daughter throws a pitch.

In fact, sometimes giving her the space to practice, struggle, and figure things out on her own is one of the best things you can do.

But you CAN help your daughter develop the habits that will make her better.

And it starts with something pretty simple.

Sit down together and make a plan for the week.

Look at everything she has going on. School, team practices, games, family activities, and whatever else is on the calendar.

Then ask her, "When are you going to make time to work on your pitching?"

Not just if she's going to practice. When.

Once you've identified when she's going to practice, help her come up with a simple way to stay accountable to that plan.

It doesn't have to be complicated.

Maybe it's a calendar on the refrigerator where she can see her scheduled practice days and put a sticker or check-mark on each one she completes.

Maybe it's a sheet where she writes down one or two things she wants to improve that week. Better spin on her riseball. More consistency with her changeup. Getting comfortable with a mechanical adjustment she's been working on.

And at the end of the week, take a few minutes to look back together.

Did she follow through on her plan? What did she improve? What was challenging? What does she want to keep working on next week?

The goal isn't just to keep track of how often she practices. It's to help her recognize that the work she's putting in has a purpose.

Your job is to help her figure out when she's going to do it, encourage her to follow through, and give her the opportunity to work through things on her own.

And as she gets older, she should gradually take on more of that responsibility herself.

The goal isn't to create a pitcher who needs someone telling her what to do every day. It's to help her become someone who knows what she needs to do and takes responsibility for doing it.

Sometimes You Have to Choose to Do the Work

One of my alumni (who is one of my current BreakThrew Brand Ambassadors) shared a story with me that I think every softball parent can appreciate.

She was in fourth grade, working through one of my pitching workouts at home with her older sister who was also training with me.

It was a challenging workout that included sprints, and at some point, she'd had enough.

She was frustrated. She didn't want to finish. In fact, she told her mom she wanted to quit.

And I love how her mom responded...

She told her that if she didn't want to continue pitching the following year, that was okay. They could talk about that decision when the time came.

But they had made a commitment to this training season, and they were going to see it through.

I think there's such an important lesson in that story.

Her mom wasn't telling her she had to play softball forever. She was teaching her that when you make a commitment, there will be times when it's difficult, and you still have a responsibility to follow through.

Fast forward several years, and that same little girl is now pitching at the Division I level. Last season, as a sophomore in college, she won more than 20 games in the circle for her team and earned both All-Conference and All-Region honors.

Pretty incredible to think about how far she's come since those fourth-grade workouts!

And while that one moment certainly didn't make her the pitcher she is today, the lessons she was learning about commitment, perseverance, and doing the work have stayed with her.

That's something I want my pitchers to learn.

Because let's face it, there are going to be days when they don't feel like practicing.

Days when they'd rather be hanging out with friends, watching TV, or scrolling through TikTok.

And sometimes, if getting better at pitching is something they've decided is important to them, they're going to have to choose to do the work instead.

Not every minute of every day. Kids need downtime, too!

But learning to make those choices is part of learning what it means to work toward a goal.

You don't have to want it more than she does. But you can help her understand what it means to follow through on something she's committed to.

And those lessons are going to matter long after she's thrown her last pitch.

A Busy Week Doesn't Have to Mean No Practice

I know how busy families are.

And I also know there are going to be weeks when fitting in three 30-minute workouts just isn't realistic.

That's okay.

But I don't want pitchers to fall into the habit of thinking that if they don't have time for a full workout, there's no point in doing anything.

Because five minutes can still be valuable when you know exactly what you're working on.

Five minutes working on a specific spin. Five minutes focusing on a mechanical adjustment. Five minutes working on building a stronger, more explosive foundation.

It's not the same as completing a full workout, but it's still an opportunity to improve and reinforce something you've been learning.

And sometimes, that's what the schedule allows.

Those five minutes might not seem like much. But when a pitcher spends five minutes working on the same skill consistently over four to six weeks, think about how many opportunities she's giving herself to feel it, make adjustments, and gradually develop a new habit.

When it comes to learning new skills and changing movement patterns, consistency and frequency often matter more than the length of any single practice session.

That's why I encourage my pitchers to find those five minutes, even on days when a longer workout isn't on the schedule.

Consistency doesn't mean every week has to look the same. It means learning to make time for what's important, even when life gets busy.

And this is another place where parents can help.

Maybe the original plan was to practice on Tuesday, but something came up. Instead of simply skipping it, sit down together and figure out what needs to change.

Can she move that workout to Wednesday? Can she fit in a shorter drill session instead?

You're not just helping her practice pitching.

You're teaching her how to plan, adjust, prioritize, and follow through.

Give Her a Plan. Then Help Her Learn to Own It.

One of the things I've always wanted for my pitchers is for them to become independent.

My goal has never been to create pitchers who need me standing beside them to make every adjustment.

I want them to understand their pitching, trust what they know, and learn how to figure things out for themselves.

But that doesn't happen overnight.

It starts with learning how to practice with purpose. Understanding why they're doing certain drills. Recognizing what they need to work on. Developing the discipline to make time for it.

And yes, sometimes it starts with Mom or Dad sitting down at the kitchen table and helping them plan their week.

Eventually, though, I want that pitcher to be the one opening her journal, looking at her workouts, and making those decisions for herself.

Because the ultimate goal isn't just to develop a better pitcher. It's to help develop a young person who knows how to work toward something she wants.

And whether she plays softball for two more years or ten, those are skills she can take with her.

3 Things You Can Do With Your Pitcher This Week

You don't have to overhaul your family's schedule or become a pitching expert to help your daughter make progress.

Start with three simple things.

1. Make a plan together.

Sit down with your daughter and look at the week ahead. Find realistic opportunities for her to practice independently, even if some of those opportunities are only five or ten minutes.

2. Give her something specific to work toward.

Ask her what she's learning in her pitching lessons and what she wants to improve. Encourage her to choose one or two things to focus on rather than just going outside and throwing pitches.

3. Help her reflect on her progress.

Use a calendar, stickers, check-marks, or a simple journal to track her practice. At the end of the week, ask what she learned, what was challenging, and what she wants to work on next.

These may seem like small things, but they're the beginning of developing good practice habits, accountability, and independence.

And those habits can make a difference both in the circle and beyond it.

A Plan for the Work Between Lessons

This is exactly why I created The Complete Pitcher online training program.

It's the same step-by-step approach I use with my in-person pitchers, organized into a training program that can be followed from anywhere in the world, either on its own or alongside your current pitching coach.

Each phase builds toward the next, with drills, structured workouts, mindset assignments, a training journal, and habit trackers to help pitchers stay on track.

It's designed to give pitchers direction while helping them learn to take ownership of their development.

And there's something for parents, too. Throughout the program, I share tips to help you better understand pitching, what to look for during certain drills, and how to support your daughter as she builds a strong foundation.

There's also a community where you can ask me questions directly as you work through the program.

Registration opens October 21, and this year there are three ways to train, including a new hybrid option that combines online training with in-person clinics.

If you're looking for a plan to help make the most of the time between lessons, I'd love to help.

Join The Complete Pitcher Wait List

I hope this gives you and your pitcher a few ideas to try this week, and helps you build habits that will make a difference long beyond the softball field!

Myndie